Wednesday, March 16, 2011

when it's all too much

I was in one of those places this weekend. Those closed-in, woe-is-me places. Everything feels wrong, life is hard, and no hope in sight. You know...

We must all find ourselves in this spot at times, right? The world has passed us by. We got passed on that job opportunity (*coughcough*), our new hobby isn't turning out as expected, a friend is being less than friendly, a spouse doesn't agree on how to spend that tax refund. Things come to a standstill. We come to a standstill. No progress. We are a failure, or we have been failed. Everything is wrong.

I hate these moments. I'm so low. Angry at the world and hoping for a get-out-of-jail-free card that will help me push that reset button so I can make everything perfect. Except that's never going to happen. So I wallow in that self-pity. *dramatic hand to forehead*

"I love how this woman handles her self-doubt. She just sees it as part of her process and doesn't get stuck in it. I got to remember that." - friend Amber LS, regarding something she read

I want to be that person she's talking about. I'm trying so hard, and there are some things I need to remind myself...

Take a step back: it could be as easy as distracting yourself with some upbeat tunes, or conversing about something else for a while; bottom line, try to stop dwelling for just a little bit

Remember your place in time: life is not ever going to be a flat line of happiness; there will be moments of great growth and prosperity, and others of weakness and dissatisfaction; this too shall pass and become part of the natural cycle of life

Have self-compassion: do not beat yourself up for not being good enough or strong enough or perfect in every way; you are quick to uplift your loved-ones, and you should treat yourself the same way

Embrace the opportunity: in the midst of your self-pity, you may find a nugget of truth or inspiration or enlightenment; if there is something positive to come from that, then take that with you; you might not have to re-invent your whole life, but you can learn something from the moment

Know your way out: most of the time, we recognize if it is solutions or venting that work best for us; share with a person who will understand your needs and provide the appropriate support, whether that is suggestions or hugs; but...

Don't allow yourself to be enabled: if your thoughts or behaviors are unproductive, unhelpful, or even harmful to yourself or relationships with those around you, it's probably not the best time to seek out that friend that agrees with everything you say; if you need to talk it out, find a friend (or therapist) that will challenge and uplift you


Anything to add? In this time of turmoil in the world, I'd love to have more mantras and flashes of insight to add to the mix.

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl


  

1 comment:

  1. With me, it's usually best to just wait it out.

    ReplyDelete