Thursday, May 19, 2011

the state of the body mind

Since this blog was originally created as some sort of accountability to my 30-lb goal, you would think I might actually post about that now and then. I think it's pretty correlative... my commitment to this goal and my public honesty about it (guilty conscience much?). Which I guess says a lot about where I stand.

Jill over at Lost and Not Found has beat me to the punch on this one, posting about her failings and being all honest about it.... and seeing as it's 2am right now, I'm feeling pretty honest.

Some days, I feel vaguely on track. I have my standard breakfast, work snacks & lunch, and dinner. Maybe a mini candy bar or two while at work. Maybe a late-evening goat cheese and cracker break (no more than 2oz cheese and one serving of triscuits). Ok, so that's not so bad, right? But then we get to those non-standard days, when I have a work luncheon or I'm not going home for dinner and didn't pack a pre-planned meal or we're out and about or it's just a weekend and I'm off my routine. That's when the fast food stops (ugh, you would think with my concern about food sources that I would at least avoid all that crap that is called food) and the boredom/emotional eating and the I'm-too-busy-to-grocery-shop-and-keep-healthy-choices-in-the-house comes in. And then I'm not doing quite so well.

And I know a few things that will help, and I'm going to start trying them. Because I don't want to whine (or at least, I am done whining for the moment), I want to fix.

First, I gotta start trying to beat myself up when I do something wrong. Rewards are better then scolds. One of my favorite guilty pleasures in the world is a good book, and I haven't bought one for myself in far too long. Hell, even gotten one from the library. So... books are my new rewards. I even have a B&N giftcard burning a hole in my wallet! And I have access to a Kindle, so that's a cheap(er) way of reading new books. Of course, a reward has to mean measurable progress of some sort. Which leads to...

Second, I need more concrete feedback. And the only way I'm going to get that is from the scale. So as soon as I can muster some courage, I'm hopping on. Better or for worse.

Third, I know I know how to make good choices. Sometimes it's about drinking 8oz of cold water to soothe a tummy that claims to be hungry. Sometimes it's about taking 2 minutes of hunger (even tho I feel like a rattlesnake about to strike the nearest food source) to check 1) that I'm really hungry and 2) what good choice I can make.

Yesterday, to counteract my overeating on Tuesday, I made an effort to make my meal choices a bit lighter and instead drank a ton of cold water. I still caved on a cheese/crackers evening snack, but considering the rest of the day only had about 1100 calories, I feel ok about that. Not great, but ok. But that was a typical on-routine day. Tuesday was a work luncheon and having guests over for my oh-so-yummy dinner (porkapalooza, which is as awesome and unhealthy as it sounds).

I guess my goals for the week are to ensure I have healthy choices on hand (ie, grocery run tonight or at lunch, no matter what), to begin my 2-minutes of hunger practice (even on my standard healthy choices, just to get in the habit), and to get the courage to jump on the scale. And oh won't that be a fun post, cuz I really feel gross lately.

I also wanted feedback about the ab workouts, cuz I am not feeling the progress on that. Nor any ab pain. I crunch (forward and sides), I do the 100s, I do that balance-on-your-butt thing that makes me shake, I do scissors legs and other leg movements that I can really feel throughout my abs. And yet no ab muscle soreness afterwards and flab flab flab. Very frustrating!!

How do you find personal accountability in the world? Am I the only lazy bastard without willpower to do something for the sake of the accomplishment?

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl

ps. I hate 2am.


  1. How do I?
    Well... for the most part, I sort of do like you're doing here. I blog. I make my concerns public. But I also try not to beat myself up too much over things... because, at least for me, doing so only makes me feel worse, which tends to make me emotional eat, which tends to make me feel worse... Ah... Catch 22! There you are!

    Second, and this is just an observation on what you've posted here about your eating habits. The water is GOOD (obviously... and something I'm TERRIBLE about). But I have to ask - the cheese/cracker snack in the evening? How late? For a variety of reasons, I have learned that eating anything too late is so incredibly bad for you - you don't burn the calories while sleeping, it's horrible for your digestion, etc. I'm sure you probably already know this, but just to make sure you should consume nothing 2-3 hours before bedtime. If you're eating that little snack that late, maybe try getting it earlier. If you're not, ignore this whole paragraph. ;)
    Lastly, and this is something I'm really starting to understand now, I know you guys are calorie counters. Based on everything I've been reading lately with regards to carbs and proteins, maybe looking at the types of foods you're eating again will also help. I'm so sick of eggs and chicken, but... I've lost 5 lbs just trying to stick to that. If I could really cut out the carbs and sugars, I'd do so much better. And, sadly, they throw sugars into everything (though I know you try to watch the pre-processed foods) and carbs are springing up in unusual places. I use Fit Day to track my food, almost every day. And I basically track every little thing that goes into my mouth. The calculations I'm not sure are 100% accurate (they're very generic), but it gives me a much better idea and helps me really be more conscious of what I'm eating. It's one more way for me to take accountability.
    A final note on carbs, however. You exercise a TON. I do not... carbs are obviously important to that. Our South Beach books have great recipes in the 2nd and 3rd phases which keep good carbs in your system. When Wes was doing the diet and all his time at the gym, he did start to look not well... because Phase 1, IMO is TERRIBLE for that sort of routine. So, remember to keep an eye on that too.
    Ok... done with my mini-lecture. I do think you're doing very well, even though you slip. You're conscious about it... you're taking accountability for it. And that's amazing and I commend you. Get on that scale; show it who's boss. You may once again be pleasantly surprised.

    Love your neighborhood cheerleader

  2. I have a lot to say. Yes, you need some way to measure your progress, but highly reccommend you taking measurements as well as weighing. I've made the mistake of just weighing and sometimes you can't control/predict its results.

    Here's the deal, you can't control your work luncheons and you shouldn't have to give up dinners with friends, so just do what you can. For instance, when you said you ate less one day to accommodate a higher-calorie day, that's great!

    About the abs- that sounds like an awesome workout? How often are you doing it? If you're doing it regularly and correctly, then I would just say hang in there. You'll be able to feel those guys eventually (maybe not see, but feel).