Thursday, April 7, 2011

how to eat badly, aka lessons never learned

Hmmmm... I wonder why I feel like crap this week? Stumbled through DDR this morning, didn't have the energy to go to the grocery last night, have felt vaguely sad and disconnected this week...

Could it be all the over-eating? The poorly-planned and poorly thought-through meals out? The changes in plans that I used as an excuse to stop trying?

To those that say "Well, all of that is avoidable, isn't it? A little planning and thoughtfulness is all you need!"... well, fuck you. Thank you for making me feel like an idiot. For some people, the mentality and willpower and emotional ties to food are bigger hurdles. Chains that can't be broken easily, habits that persist.

Yes, I could have asked the waiter how the soup was made; it sounded healthy, but came rich and decadent and too tasty to resist. Yes, I could have saved the leftovers for another meal, instead of eating it as a very large snack a couple of hours later. Yes, I could have called ahead to see if that take-out place with some great healthy options was lying on their website about being open; maybe then I would have had a back-up plan that didn't include the fast-food place next door. Yes, I could have paid attention to the nutrition information and not my cravings. Yes, I could have just had a small plate of something and used ice cold water to break my mouth of it's watering as I watched others eat after I had already had my well-portioned, well-balanced light dinner; but I didn't.

That's why I need to have a support person. Someone that can help remind me of my path, remind me of the choices, help me past the mental roadblocks. And most of all, someone who will understand that this might be harder than they realize and treat me gently when I get frustrated, and let me know that it's ok to not be perfect all the time.

Sadly, and obviously, mine was not around this week. So I flailed and failed. But that's ok. I have big plans coming :-D

How do you push past your more-obvious failings?

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl



  1. Push past my more obvious failings?
    *points you back in the direction of my poem post last night*

    I "comfort eat." I base my food most of the time on what makes me feel better... even if knowing in the long run it's not the "right" thing to do. But... then I pick myself up, don't let myself beat myself up over it and move on.

    But, everyone is different. I don't need a support person like you do mainly because that has the opposite effect on me. Ask Wes. "You're going to tell me what I should eat and do? Fuck you then... I'm doing what I want." Everyone works differently (obviously).

    But yeah... when I'm feeling particularly bad about myself, I do go back to that poem or remind myself what my reasons are for wanting to push past a particular failing.

    And, strangely, with this weird "looking for a positive" I'm getting better at it. Not necessarily better at not failing... but better accepting that little bit of "I'm only human" and moving along.

  2. I fucking loved this post. Enough to use the f word. I think you know that I "flail and fail" (love that line by the way and may quite you on it sometime) regularly. The key is always getting back on track no matter how long you are off track. You can do it!