and here we go again...

What is it about summer that makes it impossible for me to post regularly?

I visited Barnhenge Mama (and her adorable new Boob Monster) yesterday, taking a moment to breathe and enjoy. Florence and the Machine were the soundtrack of my day, pulling at the depths of my soul to rip the music lover out of hiding, watching a spontaneous dance by a whimsical pre-schooler. A beautiful day to just try to BE.

Of course, there was DOing too. The wonderful world of Pennsic begins for me at the end of the week. And, as much as I enjoy sewing, there is only one time of year in which significant sewing happens... the week before Pennsic. (am.i.right?)  So all spare moments have been dedicated to coating the carpet in thread and trying not to burn or stab myself. Bella has been forced to go retrieve her own food and manage door knobs. Luckily, the Olympic games have been good company and inspiration as I try to at least try to place in the time-trials of the yards-to-garbs competition.

In summer, there is this irreparable swing between BE and DO. Days when gardening and cooking up CSA fare and cleaning and sewing and berry-picking and sweating leave you breathless. Days when sun and water and blue skies and good company and fresh food wash away everything else. There is no in-between. There is no moment to think "yes, I shall post about this later". There is only a to-do list or leaving it all behind.

Of course, life has been happening, and things worth sharing. Friday escapes into Philly with a kindred-spirit. Spontaneously-stuffed zucchini (1/2 cup dry bulger, cooked; 5oz goat cheese; 2oz sun dried tomato, diced; toaster oven for 20min on 350). Foxes at weddings. Broody chickens that return to the flock, lay wierd eggs, then go back to being broody. Awe-inspired light displays at Longwood Gardens (GO DO!). Gluts of zucchini turned into gluts of muffins. Having a full back-up generator installed two weeks before losing power for 3.5 days. A Bella whose wounds (and those that she inflicts) have healed, leading to a calmness around semi-strangers and friendliness with those who show her interest. The best of parties being thrown in the worst of heat waves. Quarts and quarts of blackberries. Magical trips to New England, complete with beautiful weather and playing wiffle ball on the beach.

And best of all, a best friend. Don't get me wrong, I have a blessed life full of wonderful friends and family, who are amazingly supportive and always around for a shoulder or a laugh. But we all need that Person, the one that gets us, sees our place in the world, has been through what we're going through or is going through it too. The Person whose beauty and soul you see, who hasn't yet seen what you see. Now I have my Person and I am content :) Considering she does not want to be a Canadienne, I believe she shall just be My Person. I hope that word holds the same gravitas with you as it does me. I am truly blessed.

Other than that, I look forward to the end of the summer. When life and schedules come back to some sort of sanity. When there is less DO and BE and more share and create. When sushi-days can come back. When I actually get on the bike, or go do yoga. When we can enjoy the (frozen) fruits (and veggies and meats and other prepared foods) of our labor. When sewing projects will be done at leisure and with more thought (and less seam-ripping!).

In the meantime, how is your summer going?

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl


  

bella's beautiful progress

Last year, after the joy of adopting Bella, we faced the struggles of her unknown past. I haven't posted anything about her since, so let me remedy that now by telling you about her progress - both as a beloved member of the house and as a dog recovering from abandonment.

• Bella learns our routines quickly, and amusingly. When we first got her, she knew that my post-breakfast glass of ice water was the last step before she went into her crate. So as soon as she heard the ice clinking into my glass, she would go sit by the basement steps. These days, she goes WILD in the morning after Able-Bodied Boy gives me my morning kiss goodbye; this means he's about to take her downstairs for food.
   
• Speaking of food, we overfed her and she's really turning into quite the chub. We're currently working to get her weight down by 20%, and as such she constantly hunts for sustenance elsewhere. We are obviously letting her waste away and she reminds us frequently.
   
• Bella has gotten 100% comfortable with our Tuesday night gang. Her first "incidents" were with two of the guys on Tuesday night, and it took all parties a while to recover comfort and confidence. But now she can't get enough lovin's from them. And we recently added Purple Monkey and her infant; Purple Monkey has already gotten belly offers (this is when we flop on our back and wiggle around to show you a warm fuzzy belly that you know want to rub, right?) and the infant is a mild curiosity.
   
• Bella has always been great with little kids. Our first encounter with a toddler was a little traumatic for the toddler (more on that in a moment), but she otherwise just flees in the presence of the unpredictable young ones. She'll yelp if accidentally hurt, but never anything more.
   
• Bella doesn't know how to play. She chews hard bones. She chews soft cloth toys/blankets/towels if we allow her. She barrels into you from a running start, if you let her. But otherwise, she won't take balls, rope toys, frisbees, or anything of that sort. If you throw something in the yard, she runs after it, past it, and enjoys watching you fetch it. Which is why, the first time she saw a toddler, Bella barrelled into her from a running start... because that's the only play she knows. We would love to teach her how to play, but really have no idea where to start.
   
• Bella is quite comfortable with my family now, having spent a bit of time with them at their various houses lately (with the holidays and all). Her main issue now is with the other dogs. They do fairly well for the first few days (maybe a growl here or there to remind them that she likes her space), but after a couple of days, the tensions start running higher and they get into a scrappy fight. All this has mainly taken place at other's homes, and we haven't had the other dogs to our place in a while. It will be interesting to see how she does with that, if the occasion arises.
   
• Bella was wonderful on her first long car ride. We went from a longest trip of ~2 hours to a 9-hour trip. A little whining in the beginning, and a little whining at the end, but otherwise she was content and had no car-sickness. At each stop, she gladly hopped back into the car. I think she would just do anything to be with us.
   
• We are becoming better at identifying her signs of discomfort with other people, know when we are better off just leaving her isolated (which she tolerates/understands more now) and at providing rules to "strangers".
• If she is laying/sitting on her bed, that is her territory and you should not approach her.
• If she is laying/sitting near me, I am her territory and you should not approach her.
• Ignore her. Let her sniff you and do not try to pet her. Ignore her. If she wants your attention, she will come up and sit by you and look at you. Otherwise, ignore her.
   
• We used that last tip with my parents the first time they ever met her. Within three hours, she was sitting at my father's feet, begging to be petted. I call that a Win. Of course, there are still some who, after listening to the rules, say "Oh, dogs love me!". I am happy to say they are still in possession of all fingers, but may be a little less confident in that personal assessment.
   
• Bella still makes some of our friends and family uncomfortable. So we send her to boarding (which she now tolerates much more, now that she knows we always return) instead of traveling with her, or lock her away upstairs while they are at our house. It doesn't bother us to do so. It's all about the comfort and safety of all parties involved. There are some situtations in which everyone wants her to be present, but Able-Bodied Boy and I don't feel like it's appropriate. She is our responsibility, and if we can't always be watching her but feel like we need to keep an eye out, we have to decide if we have the time and energy to devote to her introduction to the particular group. We take our responsibility seriously and judge each situtation independently.
   
• My favorite part about the whole thing, about wanting a dog for so long, about working through that with Able-Bodied Boy, about finding Bella and dealing with all her quirks and all the coordination to keep her - ya know - fed and happy and alive... my favorite part is that Able-Bodied Boy LOVES her. Loves her so much it makes my heart ache. Loves to get down on the floor and play with her and use his playful kid voice. And that means more to me than anything...
   

Do you have similar stories of 'time healing all things'?

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl


  

more broken parts

The intermittent crying and swollen hand deserve a release. So I'll write from the head and hand and heart.

I waited so long for this. Patiently and impatiently. Watching others with envy, sharing in their joys and laughing with them at the quirks. Seeing my family have their own joys, my own favorites, the moments of jumping and scolding and teaching and playing. Everyone being together. Watching them and telling the stories.

Finally. finally. There are rays of hope. A willingness to accept and seek and find this all for my own. Expectations are so high and yet seems to be met. There is love and happiness and life and energy and purpose and focus. So much wonderment.

Except, my dog bites my friends.

I don't have much to give. I don't have money, or much in the way of time these days. My creative juices flow intermittently and time & money get in the way of even that. Free time is spent with friends and family and loved ones. Energy is spent on sharing life experiences and stories and joys and upsets. Food and drink and life and home.

Sharing. All I want to do is share her. Share the way she gets itchy and snorty and spins in circles on her butt, rolls around in the grass, chases rabbits and follows the chickens in hopes that she can share the treats we give them but not her. Share her favorite hiding spots and the way she chews up the blanket that Alicia's mom made for me, leaving beautiful bits of teal and purple lying around.

I want her to sit with me while life and friends and fun happens. My most anxious times when there are so many people around and I need a purpose that doesn't involve wearing myself out. Except she's anxious too and doesn't know what to do. So she snaps.

No one believes us. Or they think "dogs love me" and it'll all be ok. She's cute. She looks friendly and happy. But we don't know her limits, her triggers. All we can say is leave her be. That coming up to sniff your hand is not an invitation to pet her. That men and her paws are very sticky subjects for her. I want to just say these things and have everyone understand and give her berth and make that the answer. But it doesn't work that way and I can't push off the responsibility.

I feel sad that I can't share her, have to cause her more anxiety by shutting her away.  I look at my swollen, marked hand and wonder if someone else wouldn't say she should be taken away. I think of my family of dog-owners and still feel like the dream that I had - and they shared for me - is unfulfilled, and that those I love the most are also part of that group of strangers that need to beware. I look at my lack of ambition and drive and commitment to do anything really challenging in my life and wonder if I lack what it will take to see her through and maybe teach her another way of handling her stresses.

But most of all, I feel guilty that so many friends have been hurt. Because that, no matter what, is my fault. My responsibility. And I don't think I really know what that means... for me, for them, for her....

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl


  

a full and happy family

Thanks to BarnhengeMomma and hubby, we now have chickens. We spent a lovely evening in barn-henge under the twinkly lights, eating yum-tastic food (like a very fresh salad with lemon vinagrette and crab-stuffed mushrooms and a divine swiss chard-sausage-lemon lasagna), and enjoying a tour of the gardens with good company. And at the end of the evening, they sent us with a cat-carrier with two of her flock. Chicken Karma is on her side, as she's about to receive another five :)

This is Ginger.
She is a Buff Orpington. Generally pretty easy-going.

This is Mac.
A Barred Rock and very very pretty. Also a little uptight.

This is Bella trying to be good and not harass the ladies.

This is our first egg.
We believe it was laid by Mac. We're still teaching them about the coop and their nesting sites. In the meantime, Mac seemed to enjoy the cool grass under the coop.










We have them set up in the coop, with a 10'x10' dog fence surrounding it, covered with a tarp. The coop itself is dig-proof, so that's where they will be at night. During the day, we let them into the larger run. Since it is covered, we are not too concerned about the birds-of-prey. But they have demonstrated that they can run into their coop if there is a threat. Like a turkey buzzard or a Bella.


Did you figure out where the names came from?

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl


  

on not, need, want and do...

I keep thinking about all the things I'm NOT doing, NEED to be doing, WANTing to do.

I ought to focus on what I AM doing.

I tell myself about NEEDs more often than I should, but I've been catching myself. I pick something up at Target, "ooooooh I need this!" then stop myself and ask about that need. Is it real? Perceived? How long have I gone without that thing? Could I reasonably go without it? Is there something we have that I could use as an alternative? Do I really even have the money to buy it, or the justification to ask Able-Bodied Boy to purchase it for me? 90% of the time, it goes back on the shelf.

We're in the middle of a heat wave and it makes going outside a miserable experience for me. For Bella too, so I've been trying to busy myself around the house.

Able-Bodied Boy voted that my next project should be labeling cleaning supplies with their alternative replacements. So as we run out of one thing, we can make up a batch of the new stuff. I'm excited that he's on board with that concept, so that will be the next thing I tackle. Maybe the next w/mo2h series...

I have been crunching those abs regularly. I have not, however been cycling. I'll update about why not here pretty soon.

Bella will soon be part of an awesome program that helps rescue owners who are struggling with behavioral issues. It's cheaper than normal one-on-one, in-home training, but with 3 hours of personal training and a ton of phone/email support. So maybe by July we can have friends over without worrying about how she's going to react.

Able-Bodied Boy has a ton of travel and vacations this summer. Having been with his company since they invented electricity, he gets more than double the vacation time I do, so off he goes for 3 weeks of camping. I have on occasion joined and enjoyed. This year is debatable. Bella wouldn't be allowed, I'd be out in the heat, and well... it's a lot of late nights and drinking and somehow that isn't as appealing as it was before. We'll see. I usually spend his time away working on a project; this year will be the cleaning supplies and the game room downstairs. It woefully needs a clean-out; it's more of a dungeon right now and while that makes for fun ambiance it also makes for a stale smell and big spiders that creep up on us while we're down there :-P

Gotta focus on the DO. Not on all the other stuff I'm not doing or wanting to do or convinced I need to do.

Just do it?

How do you block out all the things you think you ought to be doing? How do you get yourself satisfied, living in the moment?

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl


  

introductions

This is Bella. She is ours...

When she follows me around constantly, step-for-step, it's really hard to take photos other than this...

Little Miss Spoiled Brat, for the first evening, wouldn't lay on anything that wasn't a dog bed, blanket or couch.  And she sulked a lot when we scolded her for being on the couch. 

She didn't see Able-Bodied Boy go into the garden, so we got to hear her first barks as she defended me from the evil garden man. It took her a while to realize it was only Boy :) Note that she doesn't have a leash on. Unless there are horses nearby, she will stick close. However, she runs for the horses... I suspect there's some Aussie in her!

Her beautiful colors.

After months of deliberations and negotiations, research and no results, I finally stumbled upon this ad Monday on Petfinder, for a Chow-Chow/Keeshond mix (which we now suspect might also be German Shepard or Aussie too):

... is a very sweet and friendly 4 yr old dog. Her previous owners praised her as an excellent housepet and companion. (She was surrendered due to a move) She is a laid back and mellow dog and will do best in a quiet home.

She was 2 hours away from home, but only 40min away from where we were already planning to be on Friday. So Monday and Tuesday were a frantic mess of trying to pull together all the info for the adoption application, which we needed approved to even be able to meet her. Of course, Able-Bodied Boy was away on business, so I was bothering him constantly and nagging him to get information to me and to help submit the application all while he was under a lot of pressure from work.

And all the while I'm bouncy and can't sleep and falling in love with the little photo of her. And trying desperately to remind myself that she might not be "the one", that Able-Bodied Boy might not love her as much as I do, that she might have some issues the ad didn't mention that would deter us.

But no. We arrived Friday and she padded over to us as calm as can be. Within 5 min she was already enjoying our attentions. She seemed to be everything that we could have wanted. So we took her home.

Since then, she's been nearly perfect. Very well-adjusted to house life and will only need minimal training on a couple of issues. We love our Bella ;)

Any new loves in your life?

Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl