I'm failing.
Holding at 7lbs down. Regained 2lbs from my losses last month. I'm not even at the half-way mark. I'm not really even at the quarter-way mark anymore.
I have excuses. blame. sadness.
I have hope without merit, which really is just hopelessness in a pretty mask.
Worst of all, I have tools. Tools utterly unused. Rewards prematurely bestowed. Challenges gratuitously unheeded. Restrictions wantonly ignored. All sorts of ideas and ideals and plans and things to measure and opportunities to do right.
And nothing to back it up. Not willpower, determination, courage. Just the humility to admit failure to you.
I'm ready to give up. Not necessarily quit all my good efforts: my eating habits, my cycling. But quit checking my weight, caring about how I look or feel. Because I don't feel bad, and I don't think I look any worse, and yet it feels like I have nothing to show for it.
Is it insane to keep going, even though I can't see the point, the benefit, the gain? Even though I haven't shown myself one bit of true grit, always taking the easy way?
In my head I hear all the cheerleading and encouragement, or the sympathy and understanding, or the blaming and self-righteousness. I hear all those voices calling and none sound like what I need to hear. I spin around and around, from one voice to another, looking for a gap in the sounds, a perspective I've missed, a new direction to take.
I think I'll just sit a spell.
Thoughts?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Monday, June 20, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
the state of the body
Well, there haven't been too many posts about weight loss or working out lately, have there?
*coughcough*
Last week I did a little scale-surfing. Didn't like what I saw, so I did it again the next morning. Even worse. Not so good for morale, let me tell you.
I'll be honest, I haven't been working out so much (as I could be). By the time the rains let up, we got the chickens and Able-Bodied Boy was out of town most of the week. So I was incorporating animal duties into the morning routine and dealing with work stresses and not wanting to leave Bella alone even more than the 10.5 hours I was leaving her as it was...
Excuses excuses. I could have been doing ab-work. I could have gone on one of my big cycling rides on Saturday or Sunday. But I didn't. Though Able-Bodied Boy dragged me out on Sunday for one of our short 10 mile rides.
And boy did I feel like an idiot. A total idiot. I'm out there cycling with him, loving every minute of it. Loving the feel of my strong legs carrying me up the long, low side of Burden Hill. Loving the breeze in my face, watching the wild turkeys haul ass into the woods. The different types of road surfaces, the horse pastures (scaring them or peaking their curiosity). But mostly loving my legs.
Why don't I do this more often?!?!
My plan is to get back into the routine next week, while Able-Bodied Boy is back in town. Then making sure I have an extra 5-10 min in the morning to take care of all our ladies and give Bella some extra love when he's out of town for the Epic Summer Leaving (3 full weeks straight!).
For those of you that comment with questions: do you check back to see if I've answered? I never do because I don't think anyone does (sometimes sending the answers privately), but I will start responding. I really wish I could reply to specific comments in a thread, and you could sign up to get notifications of those replies... Apparently there is a way to fix that by using another website to host the blogger site (or something like that) but it's far too complicated for me to start fussing with :)
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
*coughcough*
Last week I did a little scale-surfing. Didn't like what I saw, so I did it again the next morning. Even worse. Not so good for morale, let me tell you.
I'll be honest, I haven't been working out so much (as I could be). By the time the rains let up, we got the chickens and Able-Bodied Boy was out of town most of the week. So I was incorporating animal duties into the morning routine and dealing with work stresses and not wanting to leave Bella alone even more than the 10.5 hours I was leaving her as it was...
Excuses excuses. I could have been doing ab-work. I could have gone on one of my big cycling rides on Saturday or Sunday. But I didn't. Though Able-Bodied Boy dragged me out on Sunday for one of our short 10 mile rides.
And boy did I feel like an idiot. A total idiot. I'm out there cycling with him, loving every minute of it. Loving the feel of my strong legs carrying me up the long, low side of Burden Hill. Loving the breeze in my face, watching the wild turkeys haul ass into the woods. The different types of road surfaces, the horse pastures (scaring them or peaking their curiosity). But mostly loving my legs.
Why don't I do this more often?!?!
My plan is to get back into the routine next week, while Able-Bodied Boy is back in town. Then making sure I have an extra 5-10 min in the morning to take care of all our ladies and give Bella some extra love when he's out of town for the Epic Summer Leaving (3 full weeks straight!).
For those of you that comment with questions: do you check back to see if I've answered? I never do because I don't think anyone does (sometimes sending the answers privately), but I will start responding. I really wish I could reply to specific comments in a thread, and you could sign up to get notifications of those replies... Apparently there is a way to fix that by using another website to host the blogger site (or something like that) but it's far too complicated for me to start fussing with :)
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Thursday, May 19, 2011
the state of the body mind
Since this blog was originally created as some sort of accountability to my 30-lb goal, you would think I might actually post about that now and then. I think it's pretty correlative... my commitment to this goal and my public honesty about it (guilty conscience much?). Which I guess says a lot about where I stand.
Jill over at Lost and Not Found has beat me to the punch on this one, posting about her failings and being all honest about it.... and seeing as it's 2am right now, I'm feeling pretty honest.
Some days, I feel vaguely on track. I have my standard breakfast, work snacks & lunch, and dinner. Maybe a mini candy bar or two while at work. Maybe a late-evening goat cheese and cracker break (no more than 2oz cheese and one serving of triscuits). Ok, so that's not so bad, right? But then we get to those non-standard days, when I have a work luncheon or I'm not going home for dinner and didn't pack a pre-planned meal or we're out and about or it's just a weekend and I'm off my routine. That's when the fast food stops (ugh, you would think with my concern about food sources that I would at least avoid all that crap that is called food) and the boredom/emotional eating and the I'm-too-busy-to-grocery-shop-and-keep-healthy-choices-in-the-house comes in. And then I'm not doing quite so well.
And I know a few things that will help, and I'm going to start trying them. Because I don't want to whine (or at least, I am done whining for the moment), I want to fix.
First, I gotta start trying to beat myself up when I do something wrong. Rewards are better then scolds. One of my favorite guilty pleasures in the world is a good book, and I haven't bought one for myself in far too long. Hell, even gotten one from the library. So... books are my new rewards. I even have a B&N giftcard burning a hole in my wallet! And I have access to a Kindle, so that's a cheap(er) way of reading new books. Of course, a reward has to mean measurable progress of some sort. Which leads to...
Second, I need more concrete feedback. And the only way I'm going to get that is from the scale. So as soon as I can muster some courage, I'm hopping on. Better or for worse.
Third, I know I know how to make good choices. Sometimes it's about drinking 8oz of cold water to soothe a tummy that claims to be hungry. Sometimes it's about taking 2 minutes of hunger (even tho I feel like a rattlesnake about to strike the nearest food source) to check 1) that I'm really hungry and 2) what good choice I can make.
Yesterday, to counteract my overeating on Tuesday, I made an effort to make my meal choices a bit lighter and instead drank a ton of cold water. I still caved on a cheese/crackers evening snack, but considering the rest of the day only had about 1100 calories, I feel ok about that. Not great, but ok. But that was a typical on-routine day. Tuesday was a work luncheon and having guests over for my oh-so-yummy dinner (porkapalooza, which is as awesome and unhealthy as it sounds).
I guess my goals for the week are to ensure I have healthy choices on hand (ie, grocery run tonight or at lunch, no matter what), to begin my 2-minutes of hunger practice (even on my standard healthy choices, just to get in the habit), and to get the courage to jump on the scale. And oh won't that be a fun post, cuz I really feel gross lately.
I also wanted feedback about the ab workouts, cuz I am not feeling the progress on that. Nor any ab pain. I crunch (forward and sides), I do the 100s, I do that balance-on-your-butt thing that makes me shake, I do scissors legs and other leg movements that I can really feel throughout my abs. And yet no ab muscle soreness afterwards and flab flab flab. Very frustrating!!
How do you find personal accountability in the world? Am I the only lazy bastard without willpower to do something for the sake of the accomplishment?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. I hate 2am.
Jill over at Lost and Not Found has beat me to the punch on this one, posting about her failings and being all honest about it.... and seeing as it's 2am right now, I'm feeling pretty honest.
Some days, I feel vaguely on track. I have my standard breakfast, work snacks & lunch, and dinner. Maybe a mini candy bar or two while at work. Maybe a late-evening goat cheese and cracker break (no more than 2oz cheese and one serving of triscuits). Ok, so that's not so bad, right? But then we get to those non-standard days, when I have a work luncheon or I'm not going home for dinner and didn't pack a pre-planned meal or we're out and about or it's just a weekend and I'm off my routine. That's when the fast food stops (ugh, you would think with my concern about food sources that I would at least avoid all that crap that is called food) and the boredom/emotional eating and the I'm-too-busy-to-grocery-shop-and-keep-healthy-choices-in-the-house comes in. And then I'm not doing quite so well.
And I know a few things that will help, and I'm going to start trying them. Because I don't want to whine (or at least, I am done whining for the moment), I want to fix.
First, I gotta start trying to beat myself up when I do something wrong. Rewards are better then scolds. One of my favorite guilty pleasures in the world is a good book, and I haven't bought one for myself in far too long. Hell, even gotten one from the library. So... books are my new rewards. I even have a B&N giftcard burning a hole in my wallet! And I have access to a Kindle, so that's a cheap(er) way of reading new books. Of course, a reward has to mean measurable progress of some sort. Which leads to...
Second, I need more concrete feedback. And the only way I'm going to get that is from the scale. So as soon as I can muster some courage, I'm hopping on. Better or for worse.
Third, I know I know how to make good choices. Sometimes it's about drinking 8oz of cold water to soothe a tummy that claims to be hungry. Sometimes it's about taking 2 minutes of hunger (even tho I feel like a rattlesnake about to strike the nearest food source) to check 1) that I'm really hungry and 2) what good choice I can make.
Yesterday, to counteract my overeating on Tuesday, I made an effort to make my meal choices a bit lighter and instead drank a ton of cold water. I still caved on a cheese/crackers evening snack, but considering the rest of the day only had about 1100 calories, I feel ok about that. Not great, but ok. But that was a typical on-routine day. Tuesday was a work luncheon and having guests over for my oh-so-yummy dinner (porkapalooza, which is as awesome and unhealthy as it sounds).
I guess my goals for the week are to ensure I have healthy choices on hand (ie, grocery run tonight or at lunch, no matter what), to begin my 2-minutes of hunger practice (even on my standard healthy choices, just to get in the habit), and to get the courage to jump on the scale. And oh won't that be a fun post, cuz I really feel gross lately.
I also wanted feedback about the ab workouts, cuz I am not feeling the progress on that. Nor any ab pain. I crunch (forward and sides), I do the 100s, I do that balance-on-your-butt thing that makes me shake, I do scissors legs and other leg movements that I can really feel throughout my abs. And yet no ab muscle soreness afterwards and flab flab flab. Very frustrating!!
How do you find personal accountability in the world? Am I the only lazy bastard without willpower to do something for the sake of the accomplishment?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. I hate 2am.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
the state of the body, and the balance of positivity
Last night, I had this whole morning rose-colored and sunshine-y, anticipating the scale-surfing.
I feel great these days. I feel smaller, more flexible, stronger, more energetic, more capable. I have been cycling regularly, getting into a new routine of ab workouts, keeping myself organized and away from the chaos that I seem to wrap around myself at times. I have been positive, toward others and myself. I haven't been perfect, but I embrace myself and treat myself with the gentleness I deserve. I have sprung from the frost of late winter.
There was no way I could not have lost weight. Granted, I haven't been perfect; I've been so positive that I talk myself out of feeling bad about poor choices. But I've been moving steadily toward goals and good choices and trying to keep everything in balance, a delicate balance. And I feel great, so I must have lost weight.
When I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time in 5 weeks, the one pound gain really stung.
Am I being too positive? Too kind to myself? Have I allowed myself too much leniency, not enough tough love? Am I doing something wrong?
Being positive, my answer to all that is no. Being positive has not become a problem.
But, I do want to narrow my focus, now that I can see so much else is under control. I can manage to be better about choices. I can toughen up. I just need to make sure my motivation/tough love does so without tipping the scales so far that I start to resent my own self. Just move slightly away from the coddling of every misbehavior and strengthen my resolve, but still love and support my sometimes-fragile psyche.
I've been listening to My Soothing Mix station on Pandora today (Able-Bodied Sister-in-Law will remember their evening arrival before Thanksgiving, when our family lounged to this station for a drowsy and happy night as we caught up with one another). At times it's inspirational, sometimes sad. But it is music, and uplifts me and calms me.
I'm going to stay on this path of positive. But maybe just walk a little more firmly when necessary. My net loss is still at 7lbs - slightly off track for a 30lb goal, but not insurmountable considering all that I am capable of :)
How do you make adjustments to your path, without veering off in a new direction?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. all of this reminds me how much I miss the two girls who shall not be named. the two sweetest girls in the world, who treat themselves and everyone around them with care and respect and humility and grace and an ultimate balance of love for both the good and the not-so-good in the world. girls, i miss you more than ever and crave your inspiration often. love.
I feel great these days. I feel smaller, more flexible, stronger, more energetic, more capable. I have been cycling regularly, getting into a new routine of ab workouts, keeping myself organized and away from the chaos that I seem to wrap around myself at times. I have been positive, toward others and myself. I haven't been perfect, but I embrace myself and treat myself with the gentleness I deserve. I have sprung from the frost of late winter.
There was no way I could not have lost weight. Granted, I haven't been perfect; I've been so positive that I talk myself out of feeling bad about poor choices. But I've been moving steadily toward goals and good choices and trying to keep everything in balance, a delicate balance. And I feel great, so I must have lost weight.
When I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time in 5 weeks, the one pound gain really stung.
Am I being too positive? Too kind to myself? Have I allowed myself too much leniency, not enough tough love? Am I doing something wrong?
Being positive, my answer to all that is no. Being positive has not become a problem.
But, I do want to narrow my focus, now that I can see so much else is under control. I can manage to be better about choices. I can toughen up. I just need to make sure my motivation/tough love does so without tipping the scales so far that I start to resent my own self. Just move slightly away from the coddling of every misbehavior and strengthen my resolve, but still love and support my sometimes-fragile psyche.
I've been listening to My Soothing Mix station on Pandora today (Able-Bodied Sister-in-Law will remember their evening arrival before Thanksgiving, when our family lounged to this station for a drowsy and happy night as we caught up with one another). At times it's inspirational, sometimes sad. But it is music, and uplifts me and calms me.
I'm going to stay on this path of positive. But maybe just walk a little more firmly when necessary. My net loss is still at 7lbs - slightly off track for a 30lb goal, but not insurmountable considering all that I am capable of :)
How do you make adjustments to your path, without veering off in a new direction?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. all of this reminds me how much I miss the two girls who shall not be named. the two sweetest girls in the world, who treat themselves and everyone around them with care and respect and humility and grace and an ultimate balance of love for both the good and the not-so-good in the world. girls, i miss you more than ever and crave your inspiration often. love.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
the great big new announcement!
I'm always making PLANS, aren't I? *grin*
So, on Saturday September 24th, I will be cycling 75 miles from Dover to Rehoboth Beach! This is a MS Society charity event, as well as a great goal in terms of fitness, and I'm happy to have Beth, Girl Explorer joining me :)
What does this all mean? Well, I can currently ride about 20 miles, no sweat, using a really heavy mountain bike. So if I keep pushing myself, practice good training nutrition, and do some upgrades on my bike, 75 miles should be no problem. I'll also need to raise a minimum of $250 in donations to the MS Society, so I may use this blog for the occasional fundraising; I hope you'll support me in my goal of personal fitness and help to create a world free of MS.
This is going to be a big commitment; I'll need to keep up with my training, riding at least 3 times per week (and at least one of those being a push to go further) and being sure to get out with group rides in the area to get some practice riding with others.
So, I have to ask you all one big question. Do you know someone personally who is affected by MS? If so, I'd love for you to share some of what you know. I don't believe I do, and it would make this event all the more special if it weren't just about me losing weight, but truly about the event itself and it's purpose.
Is your life touched by MS; you, a friend, a loved one? Please share their story in comments and help us all learn more about the impact we could all be having...
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
So, on Saturday September 24th, I will be cycling 75 miles from Dover to Rehoboth Beach! This is a MS Society charity event, as well as a great goal in terms of fitness, and I'm happy to have Beth, Girl Explorer joining me :)
What does this all mean? Well, I can currently ride about 20 miles, no sweat, using a really heavy mountain bike. So if I keep pushing myself, practice good training nutrition, and do some upgrades on my bike, 75 miles should be no problem. I'll also need to raise a minimum of $250 in donations to the MS Society, so I may use this blog for the occasional fundraising; I hope you'll support me in my goal of personal fitness and help to create a world free of MS.
This is going to be a big commitment; I'll need to keep up with my training, riding at least 3 times per week (and at least one of those being a push to go further) and being sure to get out with group rides in the area to get some practice riding with others.
So, I have to ask you all one big question. Do you know someone personally who is affected by MS? If so, I'd love for you to share some of what you know. I don't believe I do, and it would make this event all the more special if it weren't just about me losing weight, but truly about the event itself and it's purpose.
Is your life touched by MS; you, a friend, a loved one? Please share their story in comments and help us all learn more about the impact we could all be having...
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Thursday, April 7, 2011
how to eat badly, aka lessons never learned
Hmmmm... I wonder why I feel like crap this week? Stumbled through DDR this morning, didn't have the energy to go to the grocery last night, have felt vaguely sad and disconnected this week...
Could it be all the over-eating? The poorly-planned and poorly thought-through meals out? The changes in plans that I used as an excuse to stop trying?
To those that say "Well, all of that is avoidable, isn't it? A little planning and thoughtfulness is all you need!"... well, fuck you. Thank you for making me feel like an idiot. For some people, the mentality and willpower and emotional ties to food are bigger hurdles. Chains that can't be broken easily, habits that persist.
Yes, I could have asked the waiter how the soup was made; it sounded healthy, but came rich and decadent and too tasty to resist. Yes, I could have saved the leftovers for another meal, instead of eating it as a very large snack a couple of hours later. Yes, I could have called ahead to see if that take-out place with some great healthy options was lying on their website about being open; maybe then I would have had a back-up plan that didn't include the fast-food place next door. Yes, I could have paid attention to the nutrition information and not my cravings. Yes, I could have just had a small plate of something and used ice cold water to break my mouth of it's watering as I watched others eat after I had already had my well-portioned, well-balanced light dinner; but I didn't.
That's why I need to have a support person. Someone that can help remind me of my path, remind me of the choices, help me past the mental roadblocks. And most of all, someone who will understand that this might be harder than they realize and treat me gently when I get frustrated, and let me know that it's ok to not be perfect all the time.
Sadly, and obviously, mine was not around this week. So I flailed and failed. But that's ok. I have big plans coming :-D
How do you push past your more-obvious failings?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Could it be all the over-eating? The poorly-planned and poorly thought-through meals out? The changes in plans that I used as an excuse to stop trying?
To those that say "Well, all of that is avoidable, isn't it? A little planning and thoughtfulness is all you need!"... well, fuck you. Thank you for making me feel like an idiot. For some people, the mentality and willpower and emotional ties to food are bigger hurdles. Chains that can't be broken easily, habits that persist.
Yes, I could have asked the waiter how the soup was made; it sounded healthy, but came rich and decadent and too tasty to resist. Yes, I could have saved the leftovers for another meal, instead of eating it as a very large snack a couple of hours later. Yes, I could have called ahead to see if that take-out place with some great healthy options was lying on their website about being open; maybe then I would have had a back-up plan that didn't include the fast-food place next door. Yes, I could have paid attention to the nutrition information and not my cravings. Yes, I could have just had a small plate of something and used ice cold water to break my mouth of it's watering as I watched others eat after I had already had my well-portioned, well-balanced light dinner; but I didn't.
That's why I need to have a support person. Someone that can help remind me of my path, remind me of the choices, help me past the mental roadblocks. And most of all, someone who will understand that this might be harder than they realize and treat me gently when I get frustrated, and let me know that it's ok to not be perfect all the time.
Sadly, and obviously, mine was not around this week. So I flailed and failed. But that's ok. I have big plans coming :-D
How do you push past your more-obvious failings?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Friday, March 25, 2011
more news briefs: added reader convenience and the weigh in
Me again, with brief bullet points, again...
If you turn your attention to the right-hand column there ------------->
you'll see "Emailable" with a text box and Submit button. Enter your email address and receive a notification of new posts! Infinitely more convenient that catching my FB/GTalk links, if that's how you've been keeping up. I'll be moving the box down below after a few weeks, so sign up now before you forget! Blogger's summary:
Also, I did my weigh-in this morning and alannariva was right... I shouldn't have been such a Debbie downer. I have lost 2 pounds since the last weigh-in!!! Go me!
Posts of substance will be coming soon, I promise :)
Did you sign up for email notifications yet?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. how about now?
If you turn your attention to the right-hand column there ------------->
you'll see "Emailable" with a text box and Submit button. Enter your email address and receive a notification of new posts! Infinitely more convenient that catching my FB/GTalk links, if that's how you've been keeping up. I'll be moving the box down below after a few weeks, so sign up now before you forget! Blogger's summary:
The Follow by Email gadget provides blog authors a simple way for their readers to subscribe to the latest hot-off-the-press updates, which are delivered directly to the reader’s inbox. When new blog content is published, all subscribed readers will receive a daily email notification of the new published posts, which includes a copy of the new content as well as links back to the actual posts.
Also, I did my weigh-in this morning and alannariva was right... I shouldn't have been such a Debbie downer. I have lost 2 pounds since the last weigh-in!!! Go me!
Posts of substance will be coming soon, I promise :)
Did you sign up for email notifications yet?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. how about now?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
a quick "i'm back! stay tuned! oooooh prius!"
As much as I missed the Able-Bodied world, fun and sun in Florida was a welcome reprieve to life. But that's done and life is moving on quickly...
~ I planned a weigh-in tomorrow to assess damages of home-cooking, booze, and dining-out (countered with a bit of walking, kayaking, biking, days of very light eating, and hauling of sails). Stay tuned, this could turn ugly :(
~ I'm considering a big parallel goal this year, to go with my weight loss. Stay tuned, I think this will be a great positive new direction for me!
~ In another amazing coincidence of fate, Jill over at Lost and Not Found was also out adventuring last week, and has some cool reviews and photos to share. Go check it out and read about Paris and Oxford and all the other places they visited.
One interesting note from Florida: we rented a Prius. Oh how much fun was that! Of course, Able-Bodied Boy might not agree, as he was the poor sucker trying to figure out all the bells and whistles and buttons and levers. But once we got the hang of it, we had smooth high-mpg quietly-electric sailing. ~200 miles later, we filled it up with 5-gallons of gas, FTW! While I'm not 100% convinced of the extraordinary "savings" of electric and alt-fuel vehicles, it was a very nifty drive, comfortable, and very roomy.
What did you do over the weekend?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
~ I planned a weigh-in tomorrow to assess damages of home-cooking, booze, and dining-out (countered with a bit of walking, kayaking, biking, days of very light eating, and hauling of sails). Stay tuned, this could turn ugly :(
~ I'm considering a big parallel goal this year, to go with my weight loss. Stay tuned, I think this will be a great positive new direction for me!
~ In another amazing coincidence of fate, Jill over at Lost and Not Found was also out adventuring last week, and has some cool reviews and photos to share. Go check it out and read about Paris and Oxford and all the other places they visited.
One interesting note from Florida: we rented a Prius. Oh how much fun was that! Of course, Able-Bodied Boy might not agree, as he was the poor sucker trying to figure out all the bells and whistles and buttons and levers. But once we got the hang of it, we had smooth high-mpg quietly-electric sailing. ~200 miles later, we filled it up with 5-gallons of gas, FTW! While I'm not 100% convinced of the extraordinary "savings" of electric and alt-fuel vehicles, it was a very nifty drive, comfortable, and very roomy.
What did you do over the weekend?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Saturday, March 5, 2011
a love letter on motivation
This is the first in my guest post series, to be released as intermittently as possible. I am asking friends and other bloggers to write on a given topic of which they have inspired or influenced me. I think of them as little love letters that I ask these folks to write to me and to you.
Our first comes from Jill, whom I quote (and sometimes accidentally steal post topics straight from her brain from 700 miles away) quite often. She and I were involved in the publications department while at Winthrop University, which might explain why we enjoy our blogging so much. I recently stumbled upon her blog (probably a Facebook link?) and was immediately inspired with all she was accomplishing and writing about. Able-Bodied Girl would not exist without Jill, and I asked her to be the first in this series...
Jill is trying to lose 100+ pounds and never find them again, by eating healthy and working out like she gets paid to do it. Follow her journey at Lost and Not Found.
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Our first comes from Jill, whom I quote (and sometimes accidentally steal post topics straight from her brain from 700 miles away) quite often. She and I were involved in the publications department while at Winthrop University, which might explain why we enjoy our blogging so much. I recently stumbled upon her blog (probably a Facebook link?) and was immediately inspired with all she was accomplishing and writing about. Able-Bodied Girl would not exist without Jill, and I asked her to be the first in this series...
When you need to lose weight, motivation is usually not hard to find. It lurks everywhere. Unfortunately, it’s a slippery little sucker that is hard to hold on to day in and day out.
Everyone has felt that spark of motivation before. Maybe it’s when you realize your favorite pants are a little tighter than usual. Maybe it’s when it clicks that you’re going to be in a friend’s wedding in six months and weddings mean lots of pictures. Maybe you’ve had a doctor tell you that you need to make a lifestyle change if you want to avoid diabetes or heart disease or some other horrible condition.
The spark of motivation that set me on my journey was when I realized I was just 10 months from turning 30, and I didn’t want to be 100+ pounds overweight when that big day rolled around.
No matter what your motivation is, there are two parts to motivation. Both are essential to your success.
1) The moment when you realize that you need to change and set a goal.
2) The movement you make towards that goal.
A lot of times we have the moment of inspiration, but not the energy to make it more than just a moment. That’s where the goal comes in. Set an achievable, measurable goal with a time frame and then believe that you can accomplish it and take steps towards accomplishing it.
The crazy thing I’ve found is that you just don’t find motivation once, latch onto it and it keeps you going for months. For weight loss, especially, I have to find motivation daily, hourly to keep myself on track. I have to have lots of different ideas motivating me at the same time, and I try to continuously keep my motivation in front of me, mentally and sometimes physically, so that I don’t lose sight of my goals.
If you love quotes, write some of your favorites on notecards and post them around your house or in your car or cubical. If you’d like to be back at the weight you were when you graduated college, then tape pictures from college to your bathroom mirror. If you love clothes, find an outfit you’d like to be able to wear and put a picture of it in your pantry. These visual cues help reinforce your mental motivation and keep the slippery son-of-a-gun from getting away.
What motivates you and how do you keep ahold of it?
Jill is trying to lose 100+ pounds and never find them again, by eating healthy and working out like she gets paid to do it. Follow her journey at Lost and Not Found.
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
the state of the body
Tuesday:
I am really not looking forward to this. In. The. Least. I really don't feel very confident that I've lost any weight in the last few weeks. Not that I haven't been working out (actually been doing pretty good... 5/week), and I've been quite good with my breakfast and my packed weekday snacks/lunch. But weekends have been a mixed bag, and we've been out and about quite a lot lately, meaning more meals out. And I've really been splurging on alcohol.
So even before I get on the scale on Wednesday morning and do my report and all, I think I'm going to cut out the alcohol for the most part in this sort of arragement:
1) If, starting on Mondays, I manage to get in 4 ab workouts (Jill's 2 sets each of 20 crunches and 2 sets each of 20 side crunches) in addition to a minimum of 4 morning workouts - replacing the morning workout = cheating - then I can have up to two whatever-I-want alcoholic beverages on the weekend.
2) A half-glass of red wine (50 cal) up to three times per week is allowed; since we have no open bottles right now, I probably won't even do that.
3) If Able-Bodied Boy deems that I require a gin & tonic (a sure-fire way to get me out of a bad funk), I will have one (170 cal). But only if I'm in an unresponsive funk. No casual drinks. I think he can handle this, I haven't really had too many instances of gin-emergencies lately.
Wednesday:
Ok, I think this morning's scale-surf was exactly what I needed. Not bad, but not encouraging, and definitely the kick in the butt I needed...
I'm DOWN by another pound, for a total of six pounds lost. So, that at least put a smile on my face. But that means it's been 4 weeks and that's all the progress - or lack thereof - that I've made.
So, I'm going to try to add that ab workout. I'm going to significantly cut my alcohol. What else? Well, I can probably cut back on some of the mainly-emotional snacking. Granted, I grab a cheese stick or fruit half the time, but the other half of the time I'm "taste-testing" whatever I'm cooking - usually on the weekends.
Oh the weekends. They are so tough. If we're not out and about and eating out somewhere, I'm at home cooking something mouth-watering from a magazine or website we recently read. I do try to portion control and make good choices, but standing in front of a stove is really hard to do without eating.
Able-Bodied Boy has been encouraging, although his willpower is so awe-inspiringly perfect that he doesn't always get it when I need rewards or smaller dishes to get through. But as soon as I explain, he gets on board and helps me work through things and isn't critical. So yay having support at home :)
Moving in positive directions, just need to make sure I keep up the pace!
Is it just me, or is the Universe kicking and screaming this week and last for some reason? Everything seems harder than usual, yeah?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
I am really not looking forward to this. In. The. Least. I really don't feel very confident that I've lost any weight in the last few weeks. Not that I haven't been working out (actually been doing pretty good... 5/week), and I've been quite good with my breakfast and my packed weekday snacks/lunch. But weekends have been a mixed bag, and we've been out and about quite a lot lately, meaning more meals out. And I've really been splurging on alcohol.
So even before I get on the scale on Wednesday morning and do my report and all, I think I'm going to cut out the alcohol for the most part in this sort of arragement:
1) If, starting on Mondays, I manage to get in 4 ab workouts (Jill's 2 sets each of 20 crunches and 2 sets each of 20 side crunches) in addition to a minimum of 4 morning workouts - replacing the morning workout = cheating - then I can have up to two whatever-I-want alcoholic beverages on the weekend.
2) A half-glass of red wine (50 cal) up to three times per week is allowed; since we have no open bottles right now, I probably won't even do that.
3) If Able-Bodied Boy deems that I require a gin & tonic (a sure-fire way to get me out of a bad funk), I will have one (170 cal). But only if I'm in an unresponsive funk. No casual drinks. I think he can handle this, I haven't really had too many instances of gin-emergencies lately.
Wednesday:
Ok, I think this morning's scale-surf was exactly what I needed. Not bad, but not encouraging, and definitely the kick in the butt I needed...
I'm DOWN by another pound, for a total of six pounds lost. So, that at least put a smile on my face. But that means it's been 4 weeks and that's all the progress - or lack thereof - that I've made.
So, I'm going to try to add that ab workout. I'm going to significantly cut my alcohol. What else? Well, I can probably cut back on some of the mainly-emotional snacking. Granted, I grab a cheese stick or fruit half the time, but the other half of the time I'm "taste-testing" whatever I'm cooking - usually on the weekends.
Oh the weekends. They are so tough. If we're not out and about and eating out somewhere, I'm at home cooking something mouth-watering from a magazine or website we recently read. I do try to portion control and make good choices, but standing in front of a stove is really hard to do without eating.
Able-Bodied Boy has been encouraging, although his willpower is so awe-inspiringly perfect that he doesn't always get it when I need rewards or smaller dishes to get through. But as soon as I explain, he gets on board and helps me work through things and isn't critical. So yay having support at home :)
Moving in positive directions, just need to make sure I keep up the pace!
Is it just me, or is the Universe kicking and screaming this week and last for some reason? Everything seems harder than usual, yeah?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Friday, February 18, 2011
flabby gut woes
Ugh. I'm really really not looking forward to the next scale-surf. (early March)
I don't feel any thinner. Even those first five pounds weren't noticed. My clothes don't really fit any differently, save a pair of jeans a size too small that I can just barely manage to tolerate for a day. My flabby gut still looks like a big swim tube. My only hope is that I'll be pleasantly surprised when I step on the scale, but I'm certainly not expecting it.
Jill of Lost and Not Found posted about abdominal work last week. She and I must have some sort of cosmic connection because I had just been telling myself that I probably ought to - at some point in the future but not really now cuz now is a really bad time - start doing ab work before bed. And lo-n-behold the voice in the back of my mind comes to life in her post and says NO REALLY THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!
Ugh.
Wait. Why am I 'ugh'ing? I love ab pain! I stopped going to the pilates class because I felt the style wasn't giving me enough core work and next-day aches. I crave the ab pain! Bring it on!
So let's just admit what's going on here. I'm a lazy unmotivated bastard. Unless I have to do it, or have some sort of outside influence, I have a great span of excuses that keep me from doing anything above and beyond. My bedtime routine is perfect. I crawl into bed, take my sleeping pills, lay out my morning vitamins, do one last check of facebook, chat with Able-Bodied Boy about the day and upcoming plans, and turn on my sound machine. Why would I want to add ab work to a perfectly lazy evening??
And no, I still haven't gotten to go through all the wonderful workout stuff that Beth, Girl Explorer lent me. Me = lazy. I need help. Maybe I can beg Able-Bodied Boy to be my gut buddy at night?
If I had a web cam, you'd see that my face is skeptical and snarly right now. Not that I doubt he'd do it, but that it would mean I'd actually have to do it. Interrupt my lazy evenings for ab work. Ugh.
So here's the choice. The flabby gut 'ugh' or the lazy girl 'ugh'? Which is worse?
Probably the flabby gut. I just can't win :) I guess I'll try to get started on that sometime soon...
How do you work up to doing something you know is good for you but really don't want to make the effort to do?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
I don't feel any thinner. Even those first five pounds weren't noticed. My clothes don't really fit any differently, save a pair of jeans a size too small that I can just barely manage to tolerate for a day. My flabby gut still looks like a big swim tube. My only hope is that I'll be pleasantly surprised when I step on the scale, but I'm certainly not expecting it.
Jill of Lost and Not Found posted about abdominal work last week. She and I must have some sort of cosmic connection because I had just been telling myself that I probably ought to - at some point in the future but not really now cuz now is a really bad time - start doing ab work before bed. And lo-n-behold the voice in the back of my mind comes to life in her post and says NO REALLY THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!
If you're looking for a quick way to feel better about yourself, determine a routine (perhaps something as simple as two sets of 15-20 regular crunches and 2 sets of 15-20 side crunches) and stick to it consistently for a few weeks. Do it at least three times a week, but you can do more if you want. You'll feel the difference in no time!
Wait. Why am I 'ugh'ing? I love ab pain! I stopped going to the pilates class because I felt the style wasn't giving me enough core work and next-day aches. I crave the ab pain! Bring it on!
So let's just admit what's going on here. I'm a lazy unmotivated bastard. Unless I have to do it, or have some sort of outside influence, I have a great span of excuses that keep me from doing anything above and beyond. My bedtime routine is perfect. I crawl into bed, take my sleeping pills, lay out my morning vitamins, do one last check of facebook, chat with Able-Bodied Boy about the day and upcoming plans, and turn on my sound machine. Why would I want to add ab work to a perfectly lazy evening??
And no, I still haven't gotten to go through all the wonderful workout stuff that Beth, Girl Explorer lent me. Me = lazy. I need help. Maybe I can beg Able-Bodied Boy to be my gut buddy at night?
If I had a web cam, you'd see that my face is skeptical and snarly right now. Not that I doubt he'd do it, but that it would mean I'd actually have to do it. Interrupt my lazy evenings for ab work. Ugh.
So here's the choice. The flabby gut 'ugh' or the lazy girl 'ugh'? Which is worse?
Probably the flabby gut. I just can't win :) I guess I'll try to get started on that sometime soon...
How do you work up to doing something you know is good for you but really don't want to make the effort to do?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Thursday, February 3, 2011
the state of the body
It's that time again, when I go scale-surfing and try to hold my head high as my eyes drop to see which way the numbers go.
And we're.... DOWN a total of 5lbs since the beginning! Which means I'm losing weight a little faster than I intended, but I'm ok with that at this point. I suspect that I'll reach a threshold at some point that will take a little more effort to break through...
(And let me just say, I was very very very nervous about getting on this morning, like butterflies-since-last-night nervous. For some reason, I've felt really big the last 24 hours.)
So what am I doing wrong and what am I doing right, based on my goals?
Water consumption: up, but not all the way up. Probably around three 750-ml bottles, but not the four I'm looking to get. On random days I'll get to 4, other occassional days I'll be at 2.
Eating habits: doing pretty well during the week. I'm eating good breakfasts, snacks, and lunches through the day; buying the necessary fruits & veggies as needed; making the other foods to supplement; all without too much lazy excuse. The evenings are tough, especially when Able-Bodied Boyfriend is out of town. I find myself coming home to face the Hunger Hobbit growling from beneath the steps into the house. Years of habit, I suppose, just like not being able to read Bon Appetit without drooling mouth and grumbling tummy. Weekends are tougher (especially when snowed in!), but I'm trying to self-restrain from just eating mindlessly. My schedule has been a little off lately, but I've tried to do good in remembering to take snacks and stick to it no matter where I am. I'm about to start a certificate program at the university, but I have already planned to get a salad from Salad Works on my way each week, to keep things light (they have salsa in the back, which you can request in lieu of a calorie-heavy salad dressing, woot!).
Working out: mostly Fail. In the last couple weeks, I've only done my DDR an average of three times each week, although a couple of mornings were spent shoveling, which counts in my book! And I missed yoga due to the snow once too. I have dropped the pilates class, though I have yet to break into any of Beth, Girl Explorer's videos and games she left for me to try. Ugh. I have excuses and nothing else.
This week, however, I'm breaking them. In the past, if I stayed up past my bedtime (10p), I'd use "a good night's sleep" as an excuse not to wake up early for my workout. Not this week! I'm getting up, and Able-Bodied Boyfriend is even gone too! That's a double-win in my book :)
The clothing dilemma: thanks for all the input everyone! I think I'm going to only buy a few things - absolute necessities and shoes/socks/other things that won't really change in size - but with only half my usual budget.
Overall well-being: feeling great! I blew off a tempting scale-call last week, and don't plan to jump on again for another few weeks.
Thank you all so much for following along, encouraging me, and being the supportive community I need :) I always love hearing your thoughts and feedback!
How are all of you, my Able-Bodied Friends?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
And we're.... DOWN a total of 5lbs since the beginning! Which means I'm losing weight a little faster than I intended, but I'm ok with that at this point. I suspect that I'll reach a threshold at some point that will take a little more effort to break through...
(And let me just say, I was very very very nervous about getting on this morning, like butterflies-since-last-night nervous. For some reason, I've felt really big the last 24 hours.)
So what am I doing wrong and what am I doing right, based on my goals?
Water consumption: up, but not all the way up. Probably around three 750-ml bottles, but not the four I'm looking to get. On random days I'll get to 4, other occassional days I'll be at 2.
Eating habits: doing pretty well during the week. I'm eating good breakfasts, snacks, and lunches through the day; buying the necessary fruits & veggies as needed; making the other foods to supplement; all without too much lazy excuse. The evenings are tough, especially when Able-Bodied Boyfriend is out of town. I find myself coming home to face the Hunger Hobbit growling from beneath the steps into the house. Years of habit, I suppose, just like not being able to read Bon Appetit without drooling mouth and grumbling tummy. Weekends are tougher (especially when snowed in!), but I'm trying to self-restrain from just eating mindlessly. My schedule has been a little off lately, but I've tried to do good in remembering to take snacks and stick to it no matter where I am. I'm about to start a certificate program at the university, but I have already planned to get a salad from Salad Works on my way each week, to keep things light (they have salsa in the back, which you can request in lieu of a calorie-heavy salad dressing, woot!).
Working out: mostly Fail. In the last couple weeks, I've only done my DDR an average of three times each week, although a couple of mornings were spent shoveling, which counts in my book! And I missed yoga due to the snow once too. I have dropped the pilates class, though I have yet to break into any of Beth, Girl Explorer's videos and games she left for me to try. Ugh. I have excuses and nothing else.
This week, however, I'm breaking them. In the past, if I stayed up past my bedtime (10p), I'd use "a good night's sleep" as an excuse not to wake up early for my workout. Not this week! I'm getting up, and Able-Bodied Boyfriend is even gone too! That's a double-win in my book :)
The clothing dilemma: thanks for all the input everyone! I think I'm going to only buy a few things - absolute necessities and shoes/socks/other things that won't really change in size - but with only half my usual budget.
Overall well-being: feeling great! I blew off a tempting scale-call last week, and don't plan to jump on again for another few weeks.
Thank you all so much for following along, encouraging me, and being the supportive community I need :) I always love hearing your thoughts and feedback!
How are all of you, my Able-Bodied Friends?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Thursday, January 20, 2011
the first hurdle
Able-Bodied Boyfriend was gone for part of the week. One day of which was a holiday. His first travel of the year.
Which means what I really wanted to do was lounge around in pajamas, catch up on TV shows, eat massive amounts of indulgent foods (ie, goat cheese!) and whatever leftovers I could find, go out to eat with friends, sleep in late, stay up late, neglect dishes and the mailbox and trash pickups and my health, and generally live like a bachelor for a few days. Weeee!
Oh wait. I'm trying to get in the habit of eating better and such. Crap. My maincheerleader (strike that... bad image) motivator and stabilizing factor is out of town. What to do? Especially with an entirely free day included?!!?
I went shopping, full day spree of secret gifts for family and friends teeheeeheeeheeeee. But I did two things before I left that were game-changers. One, I packed my ice skates. Two, I packed my snacks and cold lunch. Sooo, I managed to be gone from the house from 10a (yeah, I still slept in...) until 4:30p, didn't eat a single thing out, met up with friends for iceskating (aka, real exercise!), and only ate the leftovers in reasonable portions.
I did, however, have goat cheese. Once. That beautiful goat cheese. Just one ounce. With one serving of triscuits. It was sooooooooo good.
That reminds me of something Michael Pollan said in Food Rules: that food is all about the first bite, that no bite after that is as good, and that this should encourage us to have smaller portions and more quality interactions with our food. That book has sorta been central for me lately, in terms of qualifying ideas I already had on relationships with our food. More on that later...
What's your favorite snow day/day off/suddenly-finding-yourself-alone thing to do?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Which means what I really wanted to do was lounge around in pajamas, catch up on TV shows, eat massive amounts of indulgent foods (ie, goat cheese!) and whatever leftovers I could find, go out to eat with friends, sleep in late, stay up late, neglect dishes and the mailbox and trash pickups and my health, and generally live like a bachelor for a few days. Weeee!
Oh wait. I'm trying to get in the habit of eating better and such. Crap. My main
I went shopping, full day spree of secret gifts for family and friends teeheeeheeeheeeee. But I did two things before I left that were game-changers. One, I packed my ice skates. Two, I packed my snacks and cold lunch. Sooo, I managed to be gone from the house from 10a (yeah, I still slept in...) until 4:30p, didn't eat a single thing out, met up with friends for iceskating (aka, real exercise!), and only ate the leftovers in reasonable portions.
I did, however, have goat cheese. Once. That beautiful goat cheese. Just one ounce. With one serving of triscuits. It was sooooooooo good.
 |
| happy/wierd goat cheese face from ireland; courtesy Neil, and the undead. |
That reminds me of something Michael Pollan said in Food Rules: that food is all about the first bite, that no bite after that is as good, and that this should encourage us to have smaller portions and more quality interactions with our food. That book has sorta been central for me lately, in terms of qualifying ideas I already had on relationships with our food. More on that later...
What's your favorite snow day/day off/suddenly-finding-yourself-alone thing to do?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
the shopping dilemma
Normally, as soon as I know my tax refund figures, I start planning a shopping spree. The once-a-year, big-budget, get-everything-you've-been-complaining-about sort of shopping trip. Normally, February or March.
So... what to do this year?
Do I spend my full budget on clothes that could very well not fit me by the end of the year?
Do I wait, save the money with the promise of a big 'ole spree after I've lost enough to go down a whole size? I certainly don't have much that will fit me if I lose more than 15lbs.
Do I buy now, always a size smaller, as incentive? This worked with a special outfit I bought in 2005. But for a dozens of articles? Will they even look good on me at a smaller size? And which size will I be?
Do I just spend all my money on things that won't be affected, like shoes, or fabric to make my own clothes later in the year?
Oh, I got it! I'm sure to have some friend in my intended size out there; maybe they'll have a really bad year and gain a bunch of weight and then we could swap wardrobes.... Wait, that would be so wrong.
I suppose I could just plan to sell good, larger clothing on ebay, though I'm not too comfortable with that process, and I would still be out some money on the deal. I already plan to donate the more worn items to goodwill. Any other advice/suggestions?
Have you faced this issue before? How did you handle it?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
So... what to do this year?
Do I spend my full budget on clothes that could very well not fit me by the end of the year?
Do I wait, save the money with the promise of a big 'ole spree after I've lost enough to go down a whole size? I certainly don't have much that will fit me if I lose more than 15lbs.
Do I buy now, always a size smaller, as incentive? This worked with a special outfit I bought in 2005. But for a dozens of articles? Will they even look good on me at a smaller size? And which size will I be?
Do I just spend all my money on things that won't be affected, like shoes, or fabric to make my own clothes later in the year?
Oh, I got it! I'm sure to have some friend in my intended size out there; maybe they'll have a really bad year and gain a bunch of weight and then we could swap wardrobes.... Wait, that would be so wrong.
I suppose I could just plan to sell good, larger clothing on ebay, though I'm not too comfortable with that process, and I would still be out some money on the deal. I already plan to donate the more worn items to goodwill. Any other advice/suggestions?
Have you faced this issue before? How did you handle it?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
Thursday, January 13, 2011
math is hard
Jill, of the awesome and inspirational blog Lost and Not Found, commented that I didn't have any tangible, measurable goals. So true! And Beth, Girl Explorer, suggested a food diary (among other suggestions I need time to digest :)...
So yeah, umm. About that...
Crap.
For the first couple days, I tried using SparkPeople or FatSecret.com, both of which have really highly rated Android applications, so I can be on my computer or on-the-go and keep track of everything. Oh just UGH. Tracking my every bite? Typing in each ingredient I use on my salads? 90% of the complex foods I eat are homemade, not a store-bought, pre-packaged, or - most importantly - a pre-entered food in the database. So I have to look up every ingredient of every tuna salad, hummus, smoothie, spinach lasagna, whole wheat loaf, etc, I make/eat? Did I say UGH? I lasted two days. Then stopped.
Can't I just wing it?
Mornings: I eat a bowl of chai oatmeal (1/2c ff milk, 1/4c oats, 1/2T honey, my homemade chai spice blend) and a piece of fruit. If I'm in a rush, a hard boiled egg or two and fruit, or just a piece of whole grain bread (yup, homemade!) with smart balance. If I'm feeling particularly lazy, a bowl of raisin brain and a piece of fruit.
Mid-morning snack: 1oz almonds, or a piece of fruit and a protein (HB egg or cheese stick) (cuz fruit alone in my belly SCREAMS for company until I cave and eat a whole bag of chips)
Lunch: soup (homemade, yep!), normally a low calorie bean soup of some sort
Afternoon snack: yogurt and granola (only ever a 1/4 cup, not a full serving), or fruit and granola, or fruit and protein
Dinner: one of those tiny snack plates of whatever Able-Bodied Boyfriend is eating (AKA, big compromise on his dieting style/routines and mine), or tuna (made with homemade yogurt) and celery/carrots, or some other raw veggie with healthy dippy thing, or a small portion of leftovers from another meal that's screaming to be eaten before it goes bad. This meal needs work, yes indeedy :(
I counted all that up a thousand times and I really think that puts me around 1500 calories, or less, each day.
I'm up to about 1.5 liters of water each day (two 750ml fill-ups)(or 48oz-ish)... and working my way up to three fill-ups a day and on to four as a goal. <----------- OH LOOK! A measurable goal!!!
I feel like a really really really awful, uninspiring, devious dieter. I mean, I've gotta be the ONLY person on the planet right now not counting every calorie, right? It's January, the Month of Counting Calories and Going to the Gym Every Day, right?
Jill and Beth are so friggin inspiring, in all of their weight loss and the progress and diligence with tracking it all. But I don't know that I can do this in the same way. I mean, granted, I could weigh myself in another month and go "SHIT, I guess I really need to keep track of everything I eat"...
But I want to do this in a way that doesn't feel like I'm trying too hard. Cuz the "end" isn't really the end, is it? It's only the beginning. I'll be down to a healthier weight, with good eating and exercise habits, and I shouldn't really end there at all. I'm actually just in the prep-work stage of a whole new healthier me.
Oh my god my brain is going ape-shit. I have a brain that demands fairness and balance. Right now, the right side is saying YOU MUST COUNT, it's the ONLY way to KNOW! And the left side is dancing around singing BUT you should BE FREE and just EMBRACE your generic HEALTHY eating as a WAY of LIFE! Right: THE DIETING GODS WILL JUDGE YOU HARSHLY! Left: IF YOU LOSE WEIGHT, IT'S WORKING, RIGHT?? Right: BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS WORKING???
Ugh. Fine fine.
5-6 fruits or veggies/day (3-4 raw, minimum)
2-3 grainy beany things/day
2-3 proteins/day (yes, Beth, I should have said less meat proteins)
85oz of water/day
5 aerobic workouts/week
1-2 yoga/pilates workouts/week
strength training TBD
I'm good with fruit right now. Raw veggies, not so much; but it's my plan to get those prepped for next week. Grains/beans I'm ok with, and I'm probably a bit over every day on the proteins. I'm good with the workouts. But if I'm losing weight, ~3 pounds each month, I'm not going to sweat the counting.
Ugh. The idea of counting and tracking really really bugs me. My bohemian side is twitching.
Do you think my vague list of eating goals/limits is satisfactory? Any suggestions for other not-too-county/tedious ways of tracking or goal-making? Or do you think I'm setting myself up for failure?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. Jan 13, 7a weigh in. one pound lost.
So yeah, umm. About that...
Crap.
For the first couple days, I tried using SparkPeople or FatSecret.com, both of which have really highly rated Android applications, so I can be on my computer or on-the-go and keep track of everything. Oh just UGH. Tracking my every bite? Typing in each ingredient I use on my salads? 90% of the complex foods I eat are homemade, not a store-bought, pre-packaged, or - most importantly - a pre-entered food in the database. So I have to look up every ingredient of every tuna salad, hummus, smoothie, spinach lasagna, whole wheat loaf, etc, I make/eat? Did I say UGH? I lasted two days. Then stopped.
Can't I just wing it?
Mornings: I eat a bowl of chai oatmeal (1/2c ff milk, 1/4c oats, 1/2T honey, my homemade chai spice blend) and a piece of fruit. If I'm in a rush, a hard boiled egg or two and fruit, or just a piece of whole grain bread (yup, homemade!) with smart balance. If I'm feeling particularly lazy, a bowl of raisin brain and a piece of fruit.
Mid-morning snack: 1oz almonds, or a piece of fruit and a protein (HB egg or cheese stick) (cuz fruit alone in my belly SCREAMS for company until I cave and eat a whole bag of chips)
Lunch: soup (homemade, yep!), normally a low calorie bean soup of some sort
Afternoon snack: yogurt and granola (only ever a 1/4 cup, not a full serving), or fruit and granola, or fruit and protein
Dinner: one of those tiny snack plates of whatever Able-Bodied Boyfriend is eating (AKA, big compromise on his dieting style/routines and mine), or tuna (made with homemade yogurt) and celery/carrots, or some other raw veggie with healthy dippy thing, or a small portion of leftovers from another meal that's screaming to be eaten before it goes bad. This meal needs work, yes indeedy :(
I counted all that up a thousand times and I really think that puts me around 1500 calories, or less, each day.
I'm up to about 1.5 liters of water each day (two 750ml fill-ups)(or 48oz-ish)... and working my way up to three fill-ups a day and on to four as a goal. <----------- OH LOOK! A measurable goal!!!
I feel like a really really really awful, uninspiring, devious dieter. I mean, I've gotta be the ONLY person on the planet right now not counting every calorie, right? It's January, the Month of Counting Calories and Going to the Gym Every Day, right?
Jill and Beth are so friggin inspiring, in all of their weight loss and the progress and diligence with tracking it all. But I don't know that I can do this in the same way. I mean, granted, I could weigh myself in another month and go "SHIT, I guess I really need to keep track of everything I eat"...
But I want to do this in a way that doesn't feel like I'm trying too hard. Cuz the "end" isn't really the end, is it? It's only the beginning. I'll be down to a healthier weight, with good eating and exercise habits, and I shouldn't really end there at all. I'm actually just in the prep-work stage of a whole new healthier me.
Oh my god my brain is going ape-shit. I have a brain that demands fairness and balance. Right now, the right side is saying YOU MUST COUNT, it's the ONLY way to KNOW! And the left side is dancing around singing BUT you should BE FREE and just EMBRACE your generic HEALTHY eating as a WAY of LIFE! Right: THE DIETING GODS WILL JUDGE YOU HARSHLY! Left: IF YOU LOSE WEIGHT, IT'S WORKING, RIGHT?? Right: BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS WORKING???
Ugh. Fine fine.
5-6 fruits or veggies/day (3-4 raw, minimum)
2-3 grainy beany things/day
2-3 proteins/day (yes, Beth, I should have said less meat proteins)
85oz of water/day
5 aerobic workouts/week
1-2 yoga/pilates workouts/week
strength training TBD
I'm good with fruit right now. Raw veggies, not so much; but it's my plan to get those prepped for next week. Grains/beans I'm ok with, and I'm probably a bit over every day on the proteins. I'm good with the workouts. But if I'm losing weight, ~3 pounds each month, I'm not going to sweat the counting.
Ugh. The idea of counting and tracking really really bugs me. My bohemian side is twitching.
Do you think my vague list of eating goals/limits is satisfactory? Any suggestions for other not-too-county/tedious ways of tracking or goal-making? Or do you think I'm setting myself up for failure?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. Jan 13, 7a weigh in. one pound lost.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
the big post of weight loss plans
Well, I'm off to a good start, if being more conscious of my habits along with a few changes in habits can be considered so.
Ideally, my eating habits will be to: drink more water, eat more fiber, gradually reduce eating throughout the day (more at breakfast, less at dinner), eat smaller snacks more frequently, eat less meat, eat *better* fats. Able-Bodied Boyfriend and I find that eating more fiber results in fewer calories, more fresh fruits and vegetables, and more vegetarian meals, which has worked for both of us in the past. I also would like these habits to become normal, and not a "special" thing that gets dropped for old "bad" habits once I've reached my goal; that just leads to the yo-yo effect.
Right now, I'm struggling to enjoy my morning oatmeal, and have avoided it without substituting with an acceptable level of fiber. I gotta work on that. My work snack/meals are also a bit stagnant and lacking in fiber, so I need to start mixing it up. I think most of that has been the fact that this is only the second "normal" post-holiday week and I'm still getting up and running.
However, there are challenges. Primarily, Able-Bodied Boyfriend. His dieting habits trend a bit differently than mine, so we have to reach compromises and I'll make some adjustments. Another twist to this is his frequent travel, which does leave me part of the time of my own will. Mixed blessing, as I have a tough time transitioning routines when he's away.
Ideally, my exercise habits will trend up through the year, too. I would like to attend at least one evening yoga class per week, and at least one session of pilates. I would like to have a pre-work aerobic workout every morning. I would also like to get some sort of targeted strength training eventually. And as the seasons warm, getting out on the bike on the weekends will definitely be a regular thing, as well as getting back out on my bike in the mornings for my aerobics, or maybe trying my hand (feet?) at jogging again.
Right now, I'm heading to a yoga studio twice a week for yoga or pilates; I'm not overly impressed with their pilates, but I'm giving it another few weeks of chances. Since it's too cold for my fragile self to do outdoor exercising, I have Dance Dance Revolution 3 on the Wii, and I get in about 170 calories worth of dancing before work. Very fun :)
Challenges to working out.
Challenges are just things to get through. What sorts of challenges have you encountered in weight-loss plans? What creative ways have you solved them?
Much Love,
Able-Bodied Girl
- The yoga studio is 25min away from home, 25min away from work, with 45min between work and home. So for my usual Wednesday night yoga class, I have to find something to do for a couple hours between work and yoga because going home is just a waste of gas and time. And the between time can't be a waste of money by shopping or eating out. I think I have some good things in place to deal with that, just have to maintain the habits.
- If I'm not going to attend the yoga studio's pilates classes, I do know enough to do a workout on my own; I just lack the self-motivation to actually do a full workout by myself. Gotta work on that.
- I have Wii Fit, but it just annoys me; a friend offered to let me try Wii Active, so I might find it to be a good purchase later on down the road. It might provide the strength training I'm looking for, maybe even pilates?
- As for the possibility of using a gym, I have two concerns: money and time/logistics. I tend to prefer working out in the morning, at home, so I can get showered/changed/fed before heading to work. Not a huge fan of using gym facilities to prepare for work, but work clothes tend to be casual and I will consider a gym membership later in the year if the need is warranted and everything else falls into place. Again, there aren't too many that are local to home, but probably a few near work so I can consider those too.
- We have an elliptical machine in the bedroom; if any of you have ever kept workout equipment in your bedroom before, you can probably envision the massive amounts of clothing and shoes that have collected on and around it that make it ("it" being a substitute piece of furniture) a big pain to use. However, we have a TV/DVD player upstairs so I am quite at home hopping on the elliptical for some time while zoned out with some movie or show. Able-Bodied Boyfriend's work schedule is such that I wake up to work out before him during three seasons of the year, but in the summer he's up before me. So, the elliptical tends to be my summer rainy-day morning workout, but can really only be used evenings/weekends any other time of year.
- And speaking of his schedule, that whole travel thing, again, gets me all out of whack. I have trouble maintaining routines when he's away, so I might have to post more often so that my readership can act as surrogate encourager/challenger/accountability officer.
- Last major challenge to various avenues of working out: I have pigment dispersion syndrome. This means that I have cells in my eye that float around and get all worked up when I do anything high impact. If I do too much high-impact exercise, they can float back into my eye and cause glaucoma (ie, blindness). So.... as much as I would love to join all my friends/family who run and do 5ks and 10ks and triathlons... sorry. I can handle a bit of jogging, but I'd rather not go blind. For anyone who does run/jog/other high-impact sports, especially men between 20 and 40 years of age, I highly recommend making sure you go to your annual eye exams just to make sure you know you don't have it. The onset for glaucoma is pretty quick, so you might not know until it's too late. According to the Glaucoma Research Foundation, 30% of those with the syndrome develop glaucoma.
Able-Bodied Girl
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
trying to lose a 3-year old
30lbs pretty much amounts to a toddler, right? Gotta lose me one of those...
I'm pretty hyped about this blog, especially for the accountability aspect. But as I think about the end of 2011, when I hope to have lost that poor kid, I'm emotionally overwhelmed at the change that means. Mostly, at the idea that I will have done it. Like whoa, right? I will have lost 30lbs? Who is that person!? How differently will I look at myself once I've done that? How will I look at myself if I only lose 20lbs?
So right now my weight is 187; while in my 20s, it has been as high as ~210, and as low as ~175. I weighed in this morning at a specific point in my routine, which I will do again... sometimes. Weight isn't the point, really. It's a mile marker along a road, but the journey is more than just numbers. So don't bug me to get on that scale again, ugh!
I have a plan, and I have hurdles to overcome. One of the biggest right now is my eagerness to do it all right now, and the ovewhelming GAH! of it all. One step at a time. Less than a pound a week means I don't have to start out at a sprint, right? Please send a memo to my brain.
What thing have you done in your life that ended up being a big change for you? Did you know it at the time? Did you see yourself and your life differently after that? How so?
Much love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. will you follow me along my journey? see your options below for following and adding this to your feeds
I'm pretty hyped about this blog, especially for the accountability aspect. But as I think about the end of 2011, when I hope to have lost that poor kid, I'm emotionally overwhelmed at the change that means. Mostly, at the idea that I will have done it. Like whoa, right? I will have lost 30lbs? Who is that person!? How differently will I look at myself once I've done that? How will I look at myself if I only lose 20lbs?
So right now my weight is 187; while in my 20s, it has been as high as ~210, and as low as ~175. I weighed in this morning at a specific point in my routine, which I will do again... sometimes. Weight isn't the point, really. It's a mile marker along a road, but the journey is more than just numbers. So don't bug me to get on that scale again, ugh!
I have a plan, and I have hurdles to overcome. One of the biggest right now is my eagerness to do it all right now, and the ovewhelming GAH! of it all. One step at a time. Less than a pound a week means I don't have to start out at a sprint, right? Please send a memo to my brain.
What thing have you done in your life that ended up being a big change for you? Did you know it at the time? Did you see yourself and your life differently after that? How so?
Much love,
Able-Bodied Girl
ps. will you follow me along my journey? see your options below for following and adding this to your feeds
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